Even the most optimistic individuals grapple with negative thoughts!
Yes, it’s true.

Negative thoughts are a common occurrence, and anyone can be susceptible to them. However, it’s not the presence of negative thoughts. It is in mastering how we handle and respond to them that can either break or bolster our confidence and self-esteem. Consider this:

NOTHING HAS ANY INNATE MEANING IN LIFE; MEANING IS SOMETHING YOU ATTRIBUTE TO IT.

If you PERMIT negative thoughts to HARM you – THEY WILL!
If you PERMIT negative thoughts to BENEFIT you – THEY WILL!

Before we delve into this session, remember these key points:

• Negative thoughts are not exclusive to you; everyone experiences them.
• This session won’t eradicate negative thoughts but will help you manage them more effectively.
• Negative thoughts, on their own, don’t harm you. It’s the inner dialogue that ensues after the thought that can be detrimental.
• You can change any thought by altering its significance to you.

With these points in mind, let’s embark on this enlightening session!

Unraveling Your Thoughts
Seeking to boost your confidence? The first step is to identify what triggers those negative thoughts and emotions about yourself. Writing them down can make it easier to analyze and respond to them.

Keep in mind that it’s not the trigger or the event itself that stirs up negative emotions. What truly brings you down are the internal dialogues you engage in as a reaction to the trigger. These dialogues distort reality and send your emotions into turmoil.

Consider the case of Lynette, who was troubled by her husband Roger’s recent behavior. Roger seemed distant, answered phone calls discreetly, and arrived home late. Lynette, worried and frustrated, engaged in hours of self-talk:

• “He’s ignoring me.”
• “Perhaps he’s having an affair.”
• “He no longer finds me attractive or interesting.”

Her resulting emotions included anger, resentment, grief, and self-pity. But did Lynette truly know what was going on with Roger? In reality, he might have been facing work-related issues like a poor performance review, declining business profits, or a disagreement with a colleague.

The point here is that nothing in life inherently holds meaning; it’s the meaning we assign to it. Roger’s problems were likely unrelated to their relationship, but to Lynette, they seemed deeply connected.

Controlling your inner dialogue and the words you tell yourself is pivotal in shaping your self-esteem and confidence.

In this session, you’ll learn a technique to manage your inner dialogue effectively. But before we dive into the exercise, let’s delve deeper into those negative thoughts.

To make understanding easier, let’s categorize these negative thoughts or distortions into ten categories. Here’s a quick reference list:

1. Assuming
2. Overgeneralizing
3. ‘Shoulds’
4. Labeling
5. Blaming others and events
6. All-or-nothing thinking
7. Believing your feelings
8. Personalizing
9. Making comparisons with others
10. Feeling unable to cope with life

How do you challenge and question this thinking?

By asking yourself:

• “If this does happen, will I genuinely be helpless and unable to cope?”
• “If the worst-case scenario unfolds, what steps can I take?”
• “Will anyone truly care about this when I look back in 30 years?”

Remember:

Nothing has any inherent meaning in life; meaning is something you ascribe to it.

You’ve heard this before, haven’t you? How close are you to truly believing it?